Meeting in the tribal areas of northwestern Pakistan, the leaders of the Virginia Beach Taxpayers Alliance (VBTA) agreed to merge their tiny breakfast cult into al-Qaida. The pact is the fruit of secret negotiations based on contacts gained by Ben Krause during his service in Iraq.
"Both groups have been all about a tiny fringe minority trying to impose their extremist agenda on society by intimidation tactics," explained VBTA Maximum Leader Robert Dean. "The merger was a perfect natural."
"I no longer have to masquerade as a Christian, a faith that everyone knows I never really believed in any of the tenets of," went on VBTA Vice Chairman/Transportation Chairman Reid Greenmun. "I can now begin planning terrorist attacks against Norfolk light rail."
Finally, Bob O'Connor commented, "We'll launch a jihad against the Resort Area. The dress, bars...it's all in violation of sharia (Islamic law)."