Saturday, May 21, 2011

Top 10 Reasons I'm Glad The Rapture Didn't Happen

Protestant preacher of heresy Harold Camping claimed The Rapture would happen at 6 P.M. this evening, but it didn't. While I was waiting for the hour to come, I drafted my Top 10 list of why I'm glad it didn't happen:

10. I want to see Zoe Saldana in Colombiana.

9. I don't want the world to come to an end having never married. (I still hope to meet a good African-American woman out on the buses.)

8. I want to see what challenges the Demonrats mount for General Assembly seats in Virginia Beach in 2011.

7. I want to hear the warped "logic" the Virginia Beach City Council espouses in defending the obscene at-large voting system. (I don't know whether I'll laugh or scoff more.)

6. I want to see an agreement for building an entertainment venue at the Dome site and read its details.

5. I didn't want the world to come to an end with the UFL's Virginia Destroyers having never played a game.

4. I want to see the tantrums VBTAers throw when John Moss isn't appointed to Rita Sweet Bellitto's vacant City Council seat.

3. I want to find out exactly which Virginia Beach City Councilman Virginia News Source is accusing of sexual misconduct.

2. I'm having too much fun laughing at the joke that is Protestantism. After this red herring, maybe more people will see it for what it is.

1. I want to ride Norfolk's light rail starter line before the world comes to an end.

10 comments:

Wallyerb said...

Interesting that you stereotype "Protestantism" a joke. Especially since the publishing of Martin Luther's Ninety-Five Theses and Vatican II has brought Catholicism more in line with protestants rather than vice-verse.
All to often, Catholicism omits the tenants of the new covenant by requiring penance and works as a condition of forgiveness and absolution.

Amanda Jennings said...

Wally, I don't normally agree with you, but this time I have to

And I'm Catholic too. My boyfriend is Episcopalian

Guess what? We get along very, very well.


Waiting for Henry to ban me in 3... 2... 1...

Avenging Archangel said...

Wally,

You honestly believe they sat around the Second Vatican Council wondering how The Roman Catholic Church could be more like Protestants? Quite contrary, The Vatican forbids use of the word "church" in speaking of Protestant denominations, as they lack what is essentially church. (However, you may speak of the Orthodox Church.)

Your point on forgiveness is a path to cheap grace.

Amanda,

The Anglican Communion stopped publishing attendance figures over a generation ago when it dropped below 2%. Stick a fork in them.

Wally Erb said...

Sorry Henry, I don't know where you get your information from, but I think you should read "A Call Into Covenant" at http://www.richmonddiocese.org/ecumenical/larc.htm. It is self- explanatory which have impelled Lutherans, Episcopalians, and Roman Catholics toward church unity: the Ecumenical Movement and the Second Vatican Council.

Avenging Archangel said...

Wally,

To point out the obvious, some document a diocesan rep signed off on doesn't trump the Magistruum.

Wally Erb said...

The obvious Henry is that the Roman Catholic Bishops that comprise the Ecclesiastical Province of Baltimore, and are in full communications with the Bishop of Rome, have entered into this covenant. This is just one of the regional recognitions that have taken place since Vatican II in the United States 195 dioceses. Henry, are you in direct communications with Rome? Do you seriously believe that these Bishops would enter into this document without Roman approval?
I suggest you examine and absorb the content of the covenant and recognize our role as individuals to further the Good News and our Lord's sacrifice for the remission of our sins for ALL mankind.
The work of the "evil one" is prominently apparent in the "church" when it successful divides mankind.

Avenging Archangel said...

Wally,

Read Dominus Iesus.

Wally Erb said...

Sorry, I rather read and study scripture and perform divine reading directly rather than having interpretive hearsay dictate my communication with God's word.

Wally Erb said...

Ephesians 4.3

making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Matthew 24.14

And this good news of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the world, as a testimony to all the nations; and then the end will come.

Amanda Jennings said...

Amen Wally!!